Talk of the Town: If you can give the time, fight crime

ANYONE looking for a career change to start the year will no doubt be scouring job sites.

You are set to be in for a surprise, however, if you stumble upon a rather unique advert posted on Edinburgh Gumtree - for a band of superheroes.

One "employer" is looking for a group of masked crime fighters to "help clean up the streets and protect those in your area".

Wages are not guaranteed as the superheroes will gain everything they need from an immense sense of job satisfaction, apparently.

A covering letter highlighting what powers you can bring to the team will suffice.

Criminals should be very afraid.

Ticket sales were no joke for funnyman McIntyre

TO see Michael McIntyre commanding the stage at a Royal Variety Show would suggest he was born with the comedic equivalent of a silver spoon.

Far from it, and in his autobiography Michael traces his early career all the way back to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe where beginnings were, er, humble.

"The night before my first gig I couldn't sleep with excitement," writes Michael, adding: "I cobbled together all my jokes and just about had an hour's worth. I also had a lot of untried ideas about Edinburgh from my days as a student.

"My main worry, however, was who I was going to tell these jokes to. My pre-sales for the Festival were one ticket . . . and it was a 2-for-1 deal. This one person couldn't even convince someone else to come with him for free!"

Look into the crystal brawl

THOSE of a suspicious sporting nature would have had a field day this week at Murrayfield where a sheet of paper outlining BBC Alba's schedule for the Magners League rugby clash between Edinburgh and Glasgow was found blowing through the stand.

Amidst references to various links between presenters and the studio, two stood out. These involved rival players and read: "Ben Cairns sin-bin" and "DTH van der Merwe sin-bin" - yet the game hadn't even kicked off!

Fortunately, neither player ended up receiving a yellow card otherwise another chapter would have been added to the list of current sporting betting scandals.

Some-fin for the weekend

A STOCK count is planned for Deep Sea World in North Queensferry this weekend, with visitors urged to help spot and record the number of species including sharks, rays, clown fish and piranhas. Sounds fishy.